So I figured maybe this way somebody would listen to what I have to say.
Last year in February, when I got back from France, I had this thing in my head that I was better than everyone. It didn't annoy me at the time but it does now.
It also resulted in me ruining my chances at a social life, ruining my relationship with my parents, and ruining my grades at school.
THEN, I turned 17 and became a 17-year-old virgin.
Nothing could be worse.
I was getting old and shriveled, my dreams would never come true (I will tell you about those later).
So the year started off pretty shit.
But after about 3 months things started looking up.
My friends were liking me again, I was managing to study for school, I was staying in my room when at home and successfully avoiding my family!
On top of that, I was in love.
Now the thing you have to understand about me, is that I am VERY VERY picky when it comes to guys. Sure I'll make out with one, or go on a date, hell, I'll even date him for a bit.
But truly, if I am to be honest here--if I am ever to love a guy, I know the first time I set my eyes upon him. The first time I see him.
That's how it was with That One. I shall refer to him by that name, but please don't misunderstand. I am getting over it.
So my brain saw him and I literally heard it say "I WANT THAT ONE". That is what it said!
And I did. I wanted him.
And luckily the Lovelygirl (another nickname) knew him from primary school! And she asked if he would come to my school ball with me (prom) because we were from different schools, and he agreed!
For the next few months I was in heaven. I thought he was liking me and I was excited!
Then, everything went down hill and now I'm heartbroken and sad and terrified of risking anything ever again and I just want to sleep and my school work is shit and my friends hate me and That One doesn't talk to me anymore (AND he has a girlfriend).
But I have decided to change that. I am ready to be me, to be different, to be confident and successful!
Watch me be a better me! :D
Watch me be a better me! :D
See you,
Tina x
